Refective Journal Entry 1

 

 

Illustration by (Forsythe, 2012)

Today I am going to reflect on reflective journaling; that sounds pretty funny.  Hopefully, this is the only time this journal feels like an assignment.  I am a journaler by nature.  I haven't been as diligent about it in the past four years, but while my kiddos were little, I journaled a lot. I love looking back and seeing how my thought processes have changed, how I have matured, what I was so concerned about, and how most of it turned out alright in the end. 

Writing in a journal in the past has made me feel more connected to my world.  Often, the journals I did in Germany were also shared with friends and family back home.  It helped those far away keep up with what was going on in our lives.  I also was able to keep some of those private so that I could get my thoughts down.  These were good for those early marriage skirmishes that were no one else's business.  The type of journal for this class will need to remain HIPPA compliant and very vague in details. Online isn't the safest place for information, and there is always a chance something could leak.  I will need to be very careful about how I write about a situation, especially if it is traumatizing for me and I am emotional.

Journaling can really help you understand a situation.  This is true because you can write it out and then go back in a few days and process the situation further.  I have a feeling I will often write about transfers.

As a phase two student, I will try not to be too critical.  I already have a topic in mind for my first journal.  Since I am in phase two and still a student, these decisions are not made by me, but they will be things I keep in mind for my future practice.

 

My learning goals for this class are as follows.

1. Keep up. I am taking a heavier course load this term, so my biggest concern is keeping up with everything while still allowing for self-care.

2. Really start to become confident and step up in my role postpartum. I say this not to say that I don't do a good job, but there is always room for improvement and this comes with education.  This is a big factor in why I chose to go the MEAC route and not the PEP route.  I want the back group information on everything that we do as midwives.  The why, the how and the when.

 

I can already write about one of my reactions to this term.

    RUN! I totally panicked about my course load.  I feel pressure to finish school by May 2024 and that means stacking a lot of classes in order to obtain that goal.  However, this goal was not set by me per say.  I am a beneficent of the Vocational Rehabilitation program through the Military VA system.  When I first applied, I was accepted into the program, but since I would not find out if I was getting into school until December 2020, they asked me to close the case and reopen it upon acceptance.  The second time I was denied.  So I figured I would take it slow (since I was self-pay) and take on some doula clients to pay for my tuition while also in a clinical placement.  This meant I was taking 7-9 credits a term.  Super slow and easy to handle while juggling it all.

    Then someone encouraged me to apply again, a random Facebook person on one of the veteran boards.  I was ACCEPTED again!  However, I was two terms in.  Get this; I stressed that I was not stressed enough when I took these two terms, this means I know I could have handled more, but since I was self-pay and also taking on two doula clients a month, I didn't.  Now I could drop doula work and focus on my didactic.  However, this put me a term and half behind on my 36 months of entitlement.  I sadly only just figured this out, I had read the date wrong, thinking it was May 2025.

    I called my VR&E rep and learned that I could file for an extension if I need to, but we would visit that at a later date.  I was still panicking.  My husband finally came home from a work trip and soothed my soul.  He said to give it some time, see if you can get back into your rhythm and then decide if you want to drop some classes.  I hate feeling rushed but I know I can do it.  I've just gotta get out of my own head.  My lesson is next term when I freak out again, to come back to this entry and remind myself that I survived.  I hope lol!

 

 Resources

Forsythe, G. (2012, February). The promise of reflective journals. Flickr.

Koh, K. (2014, October 13). An awesome reflective journal [Video]. Youtube. Retrieved January 13, 2023, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyxT91mJnVk

Koshy, K., Limb, C., Gundogan, B., Whitehurst, K., & Jafree, D. J. (2017). Reflective practice in health care and how to reflect effectively. International Journal of Surgery: Oncology, 2(6), 20. https://doi.org/10.1097/ij9.0000000000000020